It's beginning to feel a not like Christmas

Corrie and I have now lived in our house for a little over a week. Amidst unpacking boxes, going two days without water, caring for a wild (and really cute) baby and continuing to work full time ... it has been a mind bending time in our lives. On top of it all, Christmas is just two days away. We decided not to do any presents to each other and didn't have time to decorate the house (the stockings above are as good as it gets). We've decided to celebrate Jehovah Witness style :)

In the past few weeks, we have been blown away by unexpected acts of generosity. When some neighbors heard we were moving, they prepared an entire gourmet meal with fresh baked zucchini blueberry bread for dessert! On move day, more than enough friends showed up to help us that we were not only able to load everything in one trip (thank Barnum!), we did it all within 3 hours!! On top of that, Corrie's parents came down to watch Eva for the day which was a huge help. Last weekend a couple opened up their home to host a baby shower Corrie was throwing for a girl they had never met. And a few days ago, another couple from church dropped off another excellent meal and took away all the dishes so we wouldn't have to clean another thing!

Though each of these acts were simple, we have been moved by the generosity we have received from others.

In a season where we reflect upon the significance of the birth of Christ, Corrie and I have been inspired to challenge ourselves to give more freely. To give of our resources, our time and our presence. Christ freely gave His life away, so that we could truly live. We have always found that we become more fully alive when we seek to give our lives away as well.

Have a joy filled Christmas!

broke bone bob

i'm typing with one hand. don't ever go running at night. you'll break bones. the past several weeks have been some of the fullest and chaotic ones we've experienced.

on october 4th, we celebrated eva's 1st birthday. she loves yelling da-da a hundred times a day. it melts my heart each time, as well as stokes the competitive fire within me ... the word ma-ma has just come on the scene and is usually accompanied by crying. eva is a gregarious walker and talker and has made friends with every living being on our street as she marches up and down all the sidewalks. we also had her heart checkup. since she had another svt episode in august, the doc wants to keep her on meds for another 6 months. she has become a little addict. not only does she love the candy taste, she hoardes all the syringes ... they have become friends to her.

in mid-october, all three of us got away for the weekend at flood's college retreat. this is one of the highlights of my job as we get to spend some meaningful time away with each other, some amazing students and god. we taught an all day seminar on vision and values. it was nice to press the pause button in life and evaluate how we're doing and where we're headed. got some needed clarity on some difficult decisions and returned refreshed and ready to take on the world.

the very next day i broke my finger. got a cast put on my left hand. and guess who's left handed?!

the day after that, corrie finds out she's going into arbitration, the most demanding part of her job.

she worked two 70 hour weeks. i nursed a broken bone back to health, and all our hopes and dreams got upended for a couple of chaotic weeks.

despite everything, we decided to continue to train for our 1/2 marathon (happening next week) and .... drumroll please .... decided to buy a house!! i feel a little crazy writing those words, but everything kind of fell into place. we had been casually looking for a while and finally found one that had nearly everything we're looking for. it's a few blocks west of sdsu in this great little neighborhood. definitely a house in line with our values and a great one to raise our family. we hope to get the keys mid-december.

we also got to celebrate our favorite holiday in a mildly inappropriate costume ... siegfried & roy (with our white tiger of course!).

some learnings of the last month?

receiving help is difficult, but proves our need for each other. from opening a water bottle to changing a diaper ... i've needed help. i don't like asking for it. don't like feeling weak or inadequate. yet we aren't made to go through life alone. i need you and you need me. something beautifully modeled by god who exists as a trinity. good stuff. who wants to help us move? :)

we can only do what we can do. this is a tough one and an obvious one. corrie and i take on too much, but at the end of the day, we can only do what is physically possible to do. god gives us everything we could ever need ... just gotta keep breathing.

we need to sleep more. seriously. the past three nights, we have gone to bed early and gotten nearly 8 hours. amazing how big of a difference this makes! pretty soon we're going to start eating dinner at denny's at 4 in the afternoon. man we're getting old!

I love putting food in my ears!

Queen of the Patch

It takes about 20 pictures for Eva to look at the camera. We gave up on the family portrait pretty quickly.

Siegfried & Roy ... featuring a rare white tiger!

Yum!

Behind the Curtain: August - September

Last we posted, Adam was leaving for Malawi and Corrie was staying behind with Eva.

Fast forward a month ... and this is all that happened:

Adam made it to Malawi and back.

In South Africa, Adam's rental car blew two tires in the middle of nowhere.

But, Adam made it home safely.

In Malawi, Adam made lots of plans.

Adam met with local village chiefs to plan for village development.

Adam met with a woman who oversees a human rights agency in Malawi. 

Adam met with the leadership team of Flood Malawi Church and planned and made goals to strengthen the church.

Adam plans to return next summer to see these plans to fruition.

Adam likes to plan. 

At home, Corrie tended to a sick child.

Eva had a urinary tract infection, kidney infection, 103 degree fever, vomited twice, and had another heart episode.  In one night.

Eva was really sick.

Eva is now better, but the doctor has ordered more tests to see what caused the infections. 

We wait. We pray. We trust God regardless of the outcome.

At home, Corrie is a kick butt attorney.

She won two  huge motions and made clients happy.

Her firm is busy and doing well, which is a blessing in this economy.

Corrie writes motions, talks with clients and converses with judges.

Corrie is a kick butt attorney.

Upon returning home, Adam went straight to Flood's church retreat and prepared for the biggest month of the year.

The college students returned and so did the bulk of his job.

He plans and speaks and counsels and prays.

Adam is a kick butt pastor.

There's much more to say, but this is the best we can do to recap a month in 5 minutes.  In our free time we have also begun the house search once again and are training for a half marathon.

We look forward to celebrating Eva's 1st birthday on October 4th!

This has been one crazy year.

Love,
Adam & Corrie

ps. Oh yeah ... Eva has begun taking steps all around the house. We hope to have her join us in November for the half marathon!

Why I Go

Tomorrow I head back to Malawi, Africa, where I will be furthering Flood's ministry with a church plant in the capital city.  This is my 9th visit to the continent. Working with the local church, I will be researching new initiatives for 2011 including a human rights clinic, an intern exchange program, micro-finance projects and malaria prevention.  I am deeply saddened by the thought of leaving Corrie and Eva behind. Even if it is just for a few weeks, I am not looking forward to saying goodbye. To help extinguish my guilt, and possibly to inspire a few of you reading this, I came up with some reasons for why I go.

I go because I love to travel. Not the only reason, or the most important reason, maybe even a shallow reason, but nonetheless, this is a reason why I go. Though it's a long journey, I have developed rigorous methods to cope with the 20+ hour flight (thank you Tylenol PM and wine served on international flights!) and learned how to "sometimes" score upgrades into business class. I'm fascinated by different perspectives and cultures, and feel like I have been given skills to quickly navigate through differences to find common ground.

I go because it's my job. In 2005, I was asked to go to Malawi by my church. Since then I have been back every year. One of my roles is to not only support our partnerships in Africa, but to create unique opportunities for others to go. It is exciting to see people take huge steps of faith and sacrifice to help others. There are many different reasons why I love being a pastor, but getting to see others grow in this way tops the list!

I go because I give a damn. We all know there are problems in the world. There are issues of oppression and poverty. There are those, simply because of where they happen to be born, have much, and those who have very little. In college I studied sociology and enjoyed the challenging thoughts and discussions in and outside the classroom. Over the past several years, I have had the opportunity to move beyond stimulating conversation to tangibly helping the problems. Corrie and I have spent many nights talking around the dinner table about ways we can make a difference. At times, we get overwhelmed and discouraged, yet we keep reminding ourselves ... if we don't go who will? We have the means, the education and the opportunity to help others, so we do. We can't do everything, but we can do something. 

Lastly, I go because my momma told me to. Seriously. When I was in 4th grade, my mom and I were dropping my sister off in San Francisco so she could head back to college. We spent the day seeing the sites and hopped back in the car to head home. On the drive back my mom shared the story of Jesus with me. How He came to this earth to show us how to live. How He died for us. And how He rose again, proving that He was the Son of God and worthy to be followed. With out being pushy, she simply told me about Jesus and asked me to consider beginning a relationship with God. That night, I got in my bed, and began to talk to Jesus for the first time and decided that I wanted to follow Him for the rest of my life. Little did I know how big of an impact that decision would have on my life and where God would take me.

Because Christ has called me to be His child. 

Because Christ has called me to live generously and compassionately. 

Because Christ gives me hope and freely offers hope to the world. 

Because Christ has called me to utilize everything He made me to be, for His glory, I go.

I'll be back Tuesday, August 24th.

To see a more detailed trip itinerary click here. My team and I would appreciate your prayers while we are away ... and so would Corrie :)

Moments from July

How many bananas can you stick to your face?

July has flown by! Here are some highlights from the last several weeks ... in no particular order.

1. Eva had her 9 month checkup. She received a clean bill of health. According to the charts, she's one tall little lady (97th percentile!).
2. Eva has started to stand on her own without holding on to anything. Something tells us she'll be an early walker. Can't decide if this is a good thing or not.
3. Corrie and I enjoyed our first overnight away from Eva to celebrate our anniversary. It was fun, but Corrie kept smiling and talking to every baby we saw. If she was a dude, people would have thought she was pretty creepy.
4. The past few weeks of work for Adam have been crazy. He is preparing all the details for his upcoming trip to Malawi (leaves Aug 9) while also needing to get everything done for the fall college schedule that starts up the day he returns from Africa. He's extremely excited about all the projects he's working on, but has been putting in lots of extra hours.
5. Corrie's time at work has been full as well. She has several cases going on at the same time. She is quickly learning how to be Wonder Woman, balancing a full time work schedule and motherhood duties. Her invisible plane is on its way.
6. Eva began communicating with us. She knows how to point and is quickly learning about all the different "things" in any given room. She also can act like a pretty mean lion and a wise old owl ... thanks to Aunt Sarah for teaching her tricks.
7. We spent the 4th of July weekend up in Sacramento with family and friends. We enjoyed every single minute of our time away.
8. Eva pooped in the tub for the first time!
9. We took Eva on her first international journey into Mexico to visit some good friends in Tijuana.
10.  Corrie and Adam got to spend some time acting like kids, rather than taking care of them, at Disneyland. Thanks to Emilie and Grandpa and Grandma for watching Eva.

Below are some various pictures and videos. In two weeks Adam will be leaving for Malawi, so we'll post more about his trip soon.

Love you all,
Adam & Corrie

Enjoying the summer

So fashionable!

To Infinity and Beyond!

South Africa, May 2008

Photo taken by Taryn Kent

Last night, Corrie and I enjoyed a fun night away and saw Toy Story 3. Without spoiling anything, the movie was a great reminder of the importance of the imagination and the joy-filled wonder of being a kid. While we were watching, we started getting text messages with the words centimeters, dilation, pushing and crowning. My sister Sarah was going into labor and they wanted the world to know (my family has no filter when it comes to these sort of things ... I apologize). Since I was wearing 3D glasses, all the texts were jumping off my phone (well, not really, but I'm sure that will be the next tech revolution). After a relatively brief time at the hospital, my sister delivered a beautiful baby girl, Beatrice Bärbel Diane Greule (can you tell her dad has German roots?). If this wasn't exciting enough, I have also been completely OBSESSED with the World Cup. I'm not going to write a lot about this except to say that it took Toy Story and the birth of a new human being to pull me out of a deep pit of despair and depression yesterday. I guess that's better than a bottle of Jack!


So all of this has got me thinking.

Many of you know that since 2002, I have been blessed to visit the continent of Africa eight different times. Over the years, God has been stirring my imagination as I've gotten to experience numerous adventures and meet some incredible people who have forever changed my life. I have gotten to feed displaced peoples in a war torn region of northern Uganda. I have witnessed hundreds experience life changing hope in the slums of Nairobi. And I have helped launch a new and innovative church in the capital city of Malawi.

My dreams of what could be have been expanded beyond comprehension, simply because I chose to live my life on mission with Jesus.

This August, I will be sadly leaving Corrie and Eva for three weeks, as I take another momentous trip back to Malawi (with their unwavering support of course!). Not only will I be serving a thriving young church plant, I will also be stepping out in faith to pursue human rights work. Utilizing Corrie's legal background and expertise, we are in the beginning stages of investigating the top human rights abuses in the country and attempting to create a relatively sustainable and empowering short term model for outsiders to work with locals to bring about justice for those in need.

Just writing these words is making my pits sweaty, as I am anxious about what is in store for me, my family and my church in the next few years. But with the courage of Buzz Lightyear, the love of a parent with a newborn, and the thrill of global wins and defeats in the World Cup inside me, I can't wait for what's in store!

I am trying to raise $3500 for my trip to Malawi. If you are interested in making a tax-deductible contribution please email me at adam.klekowski@gmail.com and I'll share all the details.

Beatrice Bärbel Diane Greule

June 26, 2010

I Love Daddy!

Eva has commissioned me to ghost write a Father’s Day blog post for her. She would have written this herself, but you know how busy she gets this time of year.

If Eva could write she would tell you about how good her Daddy is at making her laugh. How he also is good at calming her down when something scares her. She also might tell you that she finds his chest hair fascinating.

What she wouldn’t tell you, because she probably doesn’t realize it now, and maybe never will, is how much he sacrifices to care for her. How he wakes up early everyday to change her diaper and put her down for her nap. How he stays up late to give medicine to her. How he spends all his “free” time taking care of her.

This father’s day leaves me grateful that Eva has a father that loves her so much and strives to do his best for her. Adam is seriously the engine that keeps this home running. Seriously. Because of him, we stay afloat and I stay sane. I could not do this without him.

I am also grateful that Eva has a father whose character I would be proud for her to emulate. I am grateful she has a father who will challenge her daily to really see the world around her, to seek God, and to love others.

Happy Father’s Day. I love you, babe.

P.S. Photo is of Eva after being fed blueberries by Daddy.

Mainland

We are back from an incredible week in Kauai with my family. It was relaxing, adventurous, and rejuvenating.

Some highlights: a beautiful hike Adam and I took the baby on; hanging out and laughing with the family; long sun drenched days at the beach; sleeping in (thanks Mom and Dad for watching the crazy baby!); a exhilarating helicopter ride; and generally just relaxing and enjoying the sun.

We hired a babysitter one night and went out to a great dinner with all the adults. The sitter was hired through an agency on the island, so we didn’t know who they would send. When she arrived she was wearing a long flowing skirt and a bikini with a loose tank top over it. Her hair was in wild beach tumbled waves. She was carrying an eastern meditation book and had large tufts of armpit hair sticking out from under her tank top. (!!!!!.)

Despite the hairy pits she was great with the baby. Eva quickly stole her car keys and slobbered all over them while the nanny told Adam and I about her life. She worked and lived on an organic farm on the island. She grew up in the Midwest then moved to Kauai a decade or so back. She told us that “the island life takes you over.” It had definitely taken her.

Part of me leaves a place like Kauai wishing that I could let it take me over... that I could give up the daily grind of life on the mainland to live in a permanent daze of Mai Tais and Ahi Poke. It seems romantic, idyllic, and divine. But then we come home and I find myself so glad to be home. Its comforting, its familiar, its...deep restful exhale... home. Home sweet home.

Normal life may not be as glamorous or breezy as vacation life, but normal life is more me. With all the crazy responsibilities I tack onto my life comes also a sense of calm and peace. It may be chaotic and at times exhausting, but my mainland life, right now seems right where I should be.

Liftoff.

An open letter to those sitting within ear shot of seats 43B and 43C:


We're sorry. We know we could have just driven somewhere. We know you paid good money for your seats. We know you deserve a vacation just as much as we do. And we know you like it quiet. Real quiet. We've worked really hard all week attempting to adjust Eva's schedule. Hopefully she'll just smile and bat her eyes at you, making you feel bad for judging such young parents. In the likelihood that she does blowup in an act of infant terrorism, please forgive us. She's not dangerous, just loud. We'll be there soon enough ... and the drinks are on me.


Sincerely,
The couple sitting in 43B and 43C

Corrie, Eva and I are taking our first family vacation tomorrow! We're headed to Kauai, Hawaii and couldn't be more excited. We'll be spending the week with Corrie's immediate family in a (hopefully) great little beach house. Corrie has not only been working hard at Wirtz Hellenkamp, LLP ... writing some incredible and exhaustive motions ... while being an amazing mother to Eva, wife to myself and friend to all. I've enjoyed all the end of year festivities that come with being a College Pastor and making arrangements for a return to Malawi in August. Eva's heart has been stable since our last hospital stay. She is growing into a strong willed and curious little adventurer. She crawls all around the house and is obsessed with anything that has a cord. Her latest trick is pulling herself up, which she does often with a huge smile on her face.

Though we're not going to get to sleep in too much on this vacation, hopefully we'll get to unwind on the beach and enjoy some amazing hikes, conversations and meals together as a family.

Here goes nothing ...

Mother's Day

All Corrie wanted for Mother's Day was to sleep in.

It is now 9am.

Corrie has been asleep for nearly 10 hours.

Dad wins!

We have been on the go the past few weeks. From surprise hospital stays, to a weekend trip to Newport Beach with friends, to huge motions due at Corrie's work, to interviewing 13 potential interns, to midnight showings of Iron Man 2, and to living with out deodorant for a week because it has taken us that long to unpack our suitcases from last weekend ... life has been full. Last night we were able to put our lives back in order. By order I mean that we put our suitcases away, folded laundry, officially baby proofed the house, properly deoderized and caught up on TV shows (I know we're pathetic ... but we now can talk with our friends about the latest Office episode!).

As I celebrate Mother's Day, I celebrate an amazing wife and mother who does it all. Even though she may forget her deodorant, she never forgets to be an amazing mom to Eva and (at times) myself :)

Here are some pictures from Eva's first time at the pool.

I'm home.

Hey dudes,

Well, my luxury vacation is over. Mommy and Daddy have ruined my fun and made me leave the hospital. I had lots and lots of fun with my nurses and doctors. I was living the good life... getting waited on hand and foot... being the center of attention... making smiles for all the hospital folks. But, now I am back home. Mommy says she is glad my vacation is over, but I was just settling in and getting comfy. Oh well. Back to normal.

Eva

The latest

Adam spoke with Eva's doctor. We have been cleared to be discharged, which means we should be out of the hospital hopefully sometime this early afternoon.

They are going to be putting Eva back on propranolol, in addition to the flecainide. The two drugs work well together and should hopefully help keep her heart rate normal. There are no anticipated new side effects from being on both drugs... it shouldn't make her dopey or sleepy ... or Bashful or Sneezy or Grumpy or Doc.

The prognosis is still otherwise the same. The doctor is hopeful she will grow out of this. As long as she does not continue to have episodes, we will not plan on increasing her dosage and will eventually ween her off the medications all together. For now though the doctor said continue on normally. There are no restrictions on what she can eat or what she can do.

Thanks for the love... for us and for our daughter. We feel tired, but at peace. He's got the whole world in His hands.

Quick Update... more to come

We made it through the night. Eva got maybe 4 hours of sleep...2 here, 2 there. But her heart has remained stable and she looked happy this morning... tired but happy.

We haven't seen her doctor yet this morning, so we don't have details, but will post them as soon as we do. Just wanted to let you know that everyone is doing okay.

We're back.....

We are back in the hospital with Eva. She had another SVT episode and Adam and I couldn't break her out of it. We spoke with the cardiologist on call over the phone and he told us to bring her to the emergency room.

In the ER they admitted her right away, started an IV, and administered the drug that broke the episode. The good part about having a heart problem is that they skip right pass all the kids with broken arms and barking cough and rush you into the back like a VIP. (Seriously the girl in line in front of us had barking cough. Adam thought there was a dog in the waiting room.)

Anyhow, we were just admitted from ER into the critical care unit where they will watch her overnight. Same nurse we have had before, same wing, but a new room. Thank the Lord, we have a single this time.

I am tired of this, but still am in decent spirits. An ER nurse told Adam and I that we were the calmest parents she's seen in an emergency. We are getting good with emergency. We are seasoned professionals at this. We can now pack calmly for a hospital stay in about 10 minutes... compared with that first stay when Adam came running in the door and bashed his knee and I was running around the house like a crazy lady throwing everything I own (my sewing kit included...just in case) into a suitcase.

We will see her specialist tomorrow and should work out a plan with him for her treatment. Maybe she will be on two meds instead of the one.

I am planning on going into work tomorrow and adam and our nanny katie will watch her from here like "normal."

Now it is almost midnight and my daughter who has three different strong meds in

her is still awake. She also just peed all over my shirt. Awesome.

Adjustments

Life is full of adjustments.

It's now been a week and a half since our last hospital stay and life is (somewhat) back to normal. Eva sleeps (sometimes), eats (all the time) and moves (whenever she gets the chance). About this moving business ... we used to be able to lie her on the ground with a toy and she was content. We could get some work done or watch a show, and she got some serious play done. All were happy. Yesterday we put her down by the TV and she rolled and scooted all the way to our living room. She rolled down the step separating the two rooms, under the dining table, around the chairs and found herself contently next to the windows looking out over the canyon pondering the beautiful view. She's a very pensive baby. Eva also had her 6 month checkup last week and she's growing and developing right on schedule. We're thankful that her heart condition hasn't interfered with her growth.

Corrie and I are working and friending and cooking and cleaning ... all the usual stuff. She has a few big summary judgments due at work over the next couple weeks, so I'm getting ready for some crazy weeks ahead. I'm going to be doing interviews for our next lucky batch of college interns and preparing for a trip back to Malawi in August. We're also looking forward to a mini vacation this weekend with some friends in Newport Beach.

Life is full. And we are adjusting well.

Ps.  Eva's cousins sent Eva a "really cool" Batman towel. For some reason the super powers haven't kicked in yet.

Home again

We're home from the hospital!

They released us earlier today and sent us home with no restrictions ... back to life as normal. She has to take 3 doses of her medicine a day to help keep her heart pacing properly. They still hope that she'll grow out of this condition, but won't know if she did until she is a year old.

Corrie and I are exhausted. When we got home, Corrie fed Eva and put her down for a nap. I was lying on the couch. She came to give me a hug ... and we fell asleep for an hour! It was the best nap we've taken in a long time.

My parents arrived this afternoon, so we're looking forward to enjoying a hospital free weekend with them.

Go give someone you love a hug and enjoy your weekend ... I know we will!

One more thing

I forgot. The doctor explained why Eva probably had this episode now after going so long without one. Apparently the way babies metabolize the flecainide (her medicine) changes around the 6 month point. Around the same time babies digestive systems develop and they are able to eat solids, they also start metabolizing the medicine more quickly. So, rather than it staying in her system for 12 hours it was only staying in her system for about 8 hours. Also, as she got bigger the ratio of medicine per day to body size decreased. For both these reasons the medicine wasn't quite as effective. Now we will be giving her the same medicine, but doing so three times a day, rather than twice a day. Hopefully that should do the trick.

Morning

We made it through night two. And good news, all three Klekowskis have bathed and slept. Things are looking up.

Eva should be released some time today. Her heart has continued to beat normally, so hopefully all this morning's tests and inspections will go well and we will be on our way home soon.

Yesterday afternoon I talked her doctor in to letting us take her IV out. The IV wasn't connected to anything anymore, but they were keeping it in just in case they needed it later. Once the IV was out, Eva finally had both her feet back and we commemorated the event with a celebratory bounce. The video isn't too clear since it was shot with my phone, but you can hear how much Eva is bothered by being in the hospital.

3 Stinky Sleepy Klekowskis

Well, we made it through the first night in the hospital and it looks like we will be here at least one more night. Eva is doing well and hasn’t had any more SVT episodes. They want to keep her another day to monitor her adjustment to the increased medication. I am not excited to be spending another tortured night in the hospital. I am very tired, emotionally and physically. I really want to be home and hold my baby without her attached to a machine.

Last night Eva and I were awoken at 11:30 and were changed to a new room. The new room is a shared room and our co-tenant requires constant video monitoring, so the lights in her room had to be on around the clock. Also, because we are in the ICU they check Eva’s vitals (temperature, blood pressure, etc.) once ever hour. Needless to say, Eva didn’t sleep much. She was awake from our move at 11:30 pm till 2:00 am. Then was awake from 4:00 am till 6:00 am. Luckily she was happy. She just thought it was midday and wanted to play with her mommy, not sleep.

All three of us (Adam, Eva, and I) stink. We were all in need of bathing on Wednesday morning, but when she was purple we decided the bath/showers could wait. Eva has been sponged off here, but has not had a proper cleaning. Due to the general craziness of our lives and Adam’s alarm not going off, he and I missed our showers this morning. So right now we are three stinky sleepy Klekowskis.

Eva is up to her usual tricks, being cute and entertaining all the nurses. She thinks every janitor, nurse, or doctor that comes in her room is here for the sole purpose of playing peek-a-boo with her. Despite having braces on her legs to keep her from bending her knees and pulling or kicking off her IV she has managed to learn how to roll onto her belly and explore every square inch of her crib. She is having way too much fun to nap and I have given up tricking or bribing her into napping. She has had some of the same nurses from her previous stays and they all remembered her from last time and were excited to see how she had grown. One nurse told me today that she remembered her and said, “she is so alert and observant. This girl is going to go places.” She takes after her mother.

I am trying to stay positive, but feel drained. I just want to be home. I want to sleep and I want my baby to sleep. I am very grateful for Eva’s good spirits and relative good health. Though she is still in the same room, Eva’s status was changed this morning from “intensive care” to “critical care.” So while they are still watching her heart closely, she was able to come off her IV drip and a few other chords.

Thank you for your prayers, they are already working. As I have finished typing this Eva has finally stopped playing and fallen asleep... though as you can see, she is keeping her toy close so that when she wakes up she can get back to business and play some more.

Back to the hospital.

When Corrie put Eva to bed last night, she was extremely fussy. We thought it was just her new teeth coming in and didn't think much of it. At 1:30am I woke up to Eva crying. She was on her stomach and looked frustrated, so I flipped her over and got out her pacifier. She gasped for breath a few times so I quickly picked her up and she fell immediately to sleep on my shoulder. I laid her down and she was breathing heavy. I woke Corrie up, and we both agreed her allergies were acting up, so we went back to sleep. This morning, Eva slept in for an hour. When she woke up, Corrie noticed her skin was really cold to the touch and her feet and hands were bluish in color. At this point, we knew something was up. After consulting with a nurse over the phone, we decided to bring her into the emergency room. Turns out, we made the right decision!

She was in an SVT (rapid heart beat) episode. The doctors tried breaking her out of it with ice, but nothing worked, so they administered a drug to break her out of it. This led to the most traumatic part of the morning. For the next 90 minutes doctors and nurses attempted to place an IV into her hands and arms. Eva was hysterical and so were we. It was so hard to watch our little girl look to us with tears in her eyes, visibly in pain ... and there was nothing we could do but pray. A doctor who attends our church happened to walk into our room as he began his shift. Though they were still having problems, his presence helped calm our nerves a bit. Eventually they were able to administer the drug and she broke out of the episode ... but it only worked for 15 minutes, as she went into a second SVT episode! It was at this point that they decided they needed to admit her into the PICU. They prepared our room and we arrived with Eva still in SVT. Numerous doctors debated what to do next. They decided to up her daily medication and to try the drug again to break her out of the episode. They also needed to do another IV. It was at this point we decided to head to the cafeteria. Thirty minutes later, we arrived back to Eva's room and her heart rate had stabilized. She is now SOUND asleep. From the looks of her (see third picture below), they had to do some handiwork to get her to take the IV and the drug, but she's staying asleep!

For now, they want to monitor her to make sure her heart takes to the increased dosage and that it keeps a regular beat. As long as things go smoothly from here, we may get to go home tomorrow night. Fingers crossed.

Please join us in praying for Eva's little heart. We thought we were out of the woods with all this stuff, but obviously we're not. Her cardiologist didn't seem too phased by any of this activity. Apparently it's all normal for her condition (WPW), but it's still a stressful and traumatic experience every time we come here.

Thanks for all your love and support! We feel so blessed to have such an amazing family and community around us.

Eva eats!

Glimpses.

        Attorney by day, diaper changer by night.

     Depa came to visit!

Pout for the camera. Work it girl!

This one goes out to all the moms!

I grew up with a stay at home mom.

I now see just how much of a true job it was for her to raise all 5 of us. 

I watch Eva half the day on Monday, Wednesday and Thursday and all day on Friday. As I write this, Eva is "crying herself to sleep" attempting to take a nap. We had to skip nap time today, so that Eva's parents could have food to eat for dinner tonight. First challenge in shopping alone, what do you do with the baby when your car seat won't fit into the Costco shopping cart? I consider baby bjorning her, but I couldn't stomach being looked at as "that guy" at the warehouse, so I decided to put the entire seat in the cart. Lost between loaves of bread, yogurt, tenderloins and dried fruit, Eva was smiling and entertaining all the shoppers. 

Side note: In my single days I used to think puppies were the best way to pick up chicks ... I now have an entirely new philosophy. BABIES! Every female I pass looks at me with puppy dog eyes as they consider my plight as a lone dad just trying to get by :) I'll need to milk this attention sometime soon!

Back to parenting ... I got all the grocery shopping done, but still hadn't eaten lunch. By the time I got home, it was Eva's turn to eat. She eats. I put the groceries away. I attempt to clean the kitchen. Put her down for a nap. Attempt to eat lunch. She cries. Attempt to watch a show. She cries. Decide to blog. She cries. She cries. Finally get up to quiet her only to find her turned upside down, hitting the buttons on her mobile turning it on and off. Corrie calls. She is on her way home.

Free at last. Free at last. Thank God almighty, I am free at last!

(She decides to fall asleep)

In search of the wildflower

For some inspiration as you read: Tom Petty's Wildflowers

Last Sunday, Corrie had the bright (or not so bright) idea of going to see the San Diego wildflowers in the Anza Borrego desert. We've always talked about making an attempt to see them, but whenever we think of it, the flowers have already bloomed. There's really only about a weekend or two in the entire year that you can see these elusive flowers ... kind of like attempting to find a chupacabra or Corrie's cell phone.

After a 2 1/2 hour drive with a restless baby in the backseat, we arrived at our destination. Only to see ... a desert. The weather was nice and the landscape breathtaking, but the flowers were hiding from us.

The previous weekend, Corrie and I got to attend a conference themed around issues of justice and the role of the Church. Corrie and I used to think we were incompatible because she wanted to be an attorney and I wanted to be a pastor. Little did we know how these two professions could work hand in hand to help bring about eternal change in the world. Confronted with issues of inequality, oppression, violence and abuse, the world is in desperate need of genuine justice. For things to be made right. Corrie and I have been given much in regards to education and opportunities (thank mom and dad!). Inspired by the life of Christ, we want to serve the least of these as a crime fighting justice league.

If you're reading this, you have been give the same invitation to join this league. Opportunities are all around us. We simply need to take the small steps.

While we didn't find the flowers, Corrie and I had an adventurous time driving, talking, off roading, nearly running out of gas and eating world famous Julian apple pie. Pursuing justice is a lot like searching for these flowers. Our hope and vision for what could be motivates us, but the end result is not in our hands. We simply have to make ourselves available and embark on the journey.

Our journey continues this weekend at our church's annual SOMA Conference. My mom (who will now be mentioned as Depa on this blog, the weird Grandma nickname given by my nephew Luke ... thank you Luke for creating a lifetime of non-sensical explanations for the rest of our lives!) is coming down to watch Eva, so we're really excited about that.

Chocolate and coffee, hallelujah!

Yesterday Eva had her first check up with the cardiologist since the last hospital stay. She seems to be doing well. She hasn't had any SVT episodes that we know of since she switched medicine. The doctor even said we don't have to come back for a check up for three months.

The best part of the whole visit though is that the doctor said I can have chocolate and caffeine again (in moderation). Up until this point I had even been trying to avoid decaf because I had been told by one of the residents that since I was breastfeeding the caffeine could cause her to have an SVT episode. It is a cold dark lonely world without chocolate or coffee. So now I can party till dawn like P.Diddy and Ke$ha (and by that I mean have a decaf latte or a diet coke).

I also had a check up this last week and my doctor did an EKG to check if I had WPW. It can be hereditary. My doctor said my EKG looked clean. No verdict yet on Adam...

In other, more important news, Eva tried out her jumperoo for the first time, the sun came out and she got to wear her sun dress for the first time, and her mom is crazy and likes to put big bows on her head.