Lost.

The year I got married was the same time the show Lost premiered. It actually premiered on my birthday and I have been a fan ever since. Tonight, as I watch the beginning of the end of this great series, I feel like a chapter in the life of our family is coming to a close and a new one is beginning ... or I'm just really overly dramatic. Before you think I'm completely ridiculous, hear me out! Five years ago I was newly married, in grad school, just starting a career in ministry and navigating a new life and community outside of college. Five years later I am comfortably settled into an incredible marriage, received a Masters of Divinity from Bethel Seminary, was licensed as a pastor, helped plant a church in Malawi and saw my family grow by the addition of the cutest little baby girl I know!

A lot of significant milestones have occurred over the last 5 years, yet I find myself asking the same dang questions. Do I matter? Am I valued? Do I measure up?

As I look back at these 5 years, I still feel lost.

Lost in my dreams. Lost in my insecurities. Lost in my loves, hopes and fears.

Yet somehow, amidst my questions and doubts, I know I am found. While I may question, feel insecure, and doubt my place in the world; my identity, value and destiny (luckily) is not defined by me. My Creator tells me I have eternal value. Eternal significance. That I am loved and blessed beyond comprehension. While I may feel lost at times, I know that I am not.

This past weekend, Corrie and I made an audition tape for The Amazing Race. While the chance of getting on that show would be 1 in a million, Corrie and I are going to keep pressing on as we write the next 5 years of our story. Whether that involves an adventurous reality show, additional children, more trips to the hospital, or simply another walk around the block we look forward to what is to come.